The day before yesterday I had my most favorite moment ever of being stuck in traffic. I took a different route home from work, because I knew that my usual route was slowed by an accident. It was fate though, because while my new path was also sluggish, it was sluggish for the best reason ever.
I was sitting in a traffic snarl near the city arena, and clearly there was an event going on because there were many, many semi trucks and large tour-type buses parked alone the sides of the street. At first I wasn't paying too much attention to those because I was trying to simultaneously 1) get through an intersection without blocking it, 2) decide if I could move into the left lane to get around a bus and still get back into the right lane in order to make my right had turn, 3) not hit a stupid pedestrian wandering around in the middle of it all and 4) not melt because the air conditioning in my car is not working ONCE AGAIN BITCHES.
Once I had successfully completed three of the four tasks above, I sat, again stuck in traffic, but this time right next to the arena, sweating. Then I looked around and the crowd starting to gather. Then I looked at the nearest bus. Then I looked at the big flashing "TONIGHT" sign on the side of the arena. And that's when I saw it: WWE - WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT. Hell, yeah, motherfuckers!
(Aside: I just downloaded Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" from iTunes. Hell to the Yeah, bitches!)
That's when I really started noticing the mullets (one, unfortunately, on a child. Parents, do not do this to your children. The 80s may have been a good decade for you, but do not inflict this on a helpless child), the bright, gaudy Tshirts, the neatly dressed, nicely groomed, rather handsome twenty-something man with the attractive date ... holding the fake "World Champion Wrestler" belt or whatever they are called.
I was giddy. I called KeeperSister and sputtered out a voice mail about it all. Unfortunately, traffic eased up after that and I had to drive away from it all. But for that brief moment I was thrilled to have been in the middle of it all. KeeperSister was just mad that I didn't get any pictures.
(Now, regular readers who may be wrestling fans, please do not click away in anger. I got nothing against wrestling, I just find the culture amusing. Interesting, and amusing.)
I told Twizler about all this and she thought I should have yelled out the window "Wrestling's FAKE!" That may have been funny, but I only had thoughts of being drug out of my car and beaten senseless with that fake belt and a mullet comb. And while I used to watch wrestling every Sunday morning with my sister and KeeperDad I don't think I remember enough of the moves to defend myself. At least none that don't require grabbing a folding chair from the front row or jumping off the top rope into an elbow drop. OUCH!
Click here if you think I'm a keeper!
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