I have been hearing about Deep Fried Twinkies for over a year, and their increasing popularity at State Fairs. (Actually, from what I understand, the concept of deep frying nearly any type of snack food beyond the traditional potatoes, onions, or funnel cakes has been the latest State Fair food trend.) Twizler (on a quest to see livestock judging) invited me to attend the Fair with her and a couple of her friends (there for rides and games, respectively.) We made quite a little quartet, there, all on a quest for something different, but respectful and supportive of each other's goals. Just like the Crusades, I tell you.
Anyway, the Twinkie.
I won't tell you about all we did leading up to the Twinkie, or what we did after, as those were the quests of others, and are stories best told by them. But as we approached the food stand (known as "Little Richard's") I felt a surging sense of ... something. And then I saw the sign: Fried Twinkies. And that's when I learned that the Fried Twinkie came with strawberry sauce! I had no idea about that! And we saw another sign for Fried Oreos! FRIED! OREOS!
I placed an order for a Fried Twinkie and an order of Fried Oreos, promising to share them with my fellow crusaders. I also ordered two bottles of water, as I was pretty sure that after the pinnacle of my quest (The Consuming of the Fried Twinkie) I would want to flush my system as much as possible. A baptism, if you will, into my new life as Someone Who Has Consumed A Fried Twinkie And Reached A New Level of Spiritual Awareness as well as A Whole New Level of Nausea.
The guy battered my Twinkie and fried it up and sprinkled it with powdered sugar. Then he asked me: "Chocolate or Strawberry Sauce." Ooh! A choice! Chocolate, of course, my good man! Then he fried the Oreos, sprinkled them with powdered sugar as well, and asked, "Chocolate sauce?" It was too late to turn back, I thought, so why not go all the way. "What the hell," I said.
We carried the snacks over to the sacred seating area, and began the eating ceremony, by first taking photos.
The Oreos:
And, at long last, The Twinkie:
There is was, right in front of me. I took a bite. Mere words could not and cannot describe. Reduced to sentence fragments. Ecstasy both religous and physical. Angels wept. Cardiologists wept. Nutritionists wept. Sweet. Warm. Soft. Warm cream filling. All on a popsicle stick, available to all with $3 and faith.
I couldn't finish the Deep Fried Twinkie, because, as a mere, humble, flawed human, I did not feel worthy. I sacrificed it instead, to the Gods and Goddesses of State Fair Snack Foods, with the hope that next year, I would indeed be deemed worthy to make the quest again.
they like the smell of it in hollywood / how could it hurt you when it looks so good - madonna
