Type your name and the word "needs" into Google and list your top ten results.
(For the record, I used my real name in the search, but because I am paranoid, I will use my online name here.)
1. Keepergirl needs "to step out into the experiences of others and use that to make an attitude change." (Well, fuck you too!)
2. Keepergirl needs "our help and support now more than ever." (Seriously people, I'm not in rehab or anything.)
3. Keepergirl needs "to be aware of her own anger and how it's affecting her, so that she can be free of it." (This is really starting to sound like group therapy at the Betty Ford.)
4. Keepergirl needs "TO POST MORE!!!" (Yeah, really, but I only get so much computer time in the rehab facility.)
5. Keepergirl needs "ideas and volunteers to NOAA." (Boring.)
6. Keepergirl needs "sex but is too busy-minded to be aware of that fact. (Uh, I don't think I've ever been not aware of that fact. Ahem. No comments from anyone who knew me during that dry spell in college.)
7. Keepergirl needs "to type 70 words." (Oh come on, this is way more than 70 words.)
8. Keepergirl needs "to stay." (Lisa Loeb, is that you? The restraining order still stands, you know.)
9. Keepergirl needs "help." (Yo mama!)
10. Keepergirl needs "to cut her mom some slack." (Hey, don't talk about my mom.)
Now wasn't that fun?
Click here if you think I'm a keeper!
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