Here I am again, reminded to write by those emails I get from Diaryland every three months or so telling me to renew my supergold membership. Pretty expensive reminder system, if you ask me.
Yeah.
Anyway, here I am, rockin' it in the midwest once again, free of fear of deadly ocean creatures who thrive on saltwater and sand. Some of you might call them soft shell crabs but I know them for what they are ... straight up monstrosities, I tell you. Scary bitches! The only thing to fear here in the safe, safe midwest are mad cows, tornados, and dudes with confederate flag stickers on the back windows of their trucks. See? Safe as pie.
I shouldn't speak too soon because in a few hours I'm getting on a plane to go to Orlando for a conference. What? WHAT? Yes, I'm barely unpacked in my new (huge, HUGE) apartment and I'm off again. What can I say, I'm just that much in demand. I'm pretty sure that I'll be far enough from the ocean that I'll have nothing to fear from the creatures of the sea. But you have to keep an eye out all the time, because those little bastards will scuttle (and we know they don't walk, they don't swagger, they don't stroll, they fuckin'scuttle like the little bitches they are) a long damn way to terrorize nice midwestern girls like me. Scary!
So let's see if it takes me another three months to update again. KG, OUT!
Click here if you think I'm a keeper!
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