It actually started last night, when I decided to have broccoli with my dinner. I do like me some fresh steamed broccoli with a little butter and maybe a sprinkle of parmeson. Mmmm. But like a lot of folks I don't like the tough-ass stems (and do resent that when I buy broccoli by the pound I have to pay for that crap) so I just cut off the tops, threw them in the pan, and tossed the stems into the sink. The stems I tossed had some florets still attached, that were a little wilted and I didn't want to eat. This will be important later.
So I eat my dinner and am doing the dishes and I run the broccoli stems down the garbage disposal. Done. Or maybe not.
Last evening, when I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth (and floss! I am a flosser now!) and get ready for bed, I thought I could smell broccoli. And not in a gross "I ate broccoli and then farted and eww" sort of way. But that didn't make any sense so I just brushed brushed brushed and flossed flossed flossed and then went to bed.
Flash forward to this morning. I wander into the bathroom and pull back the shower curtain to start the shower and there is green stuff all over the tub. It looked like grass clippings. I was really confused for a while, like, what the hell? I wondered if Helen the Cat had gotten into something and then thrown up, but she is not particular about where she throws up, and generally just does it wherever she is standing, so it didn't make sense. Then I looked closer at the grass clippings and realized what it really was. Yes, I am sure you figured it out ages ago, my darlings, it was the broccoli from last night. Somehow it had backed up into the pipes and into my bathtub. Tasty! I have no idea how this happened. All the other drains were working fine.
What to do? I hoped that perhaps the clog had cleared and I could just rinse out the tub. Of course that didn't work and then I had standing water AND broccoli in my tub. Bleh. I decided to just wash up at the sink, get dressed and go buy something to remove a clog. I hate not showering in the morning, but I couldn't get this dealt with and I couldn't take today off work. Bleh again.
So I drive up to the Superfresh and buy two bottles of some liquid snake drain cleaner and come home.
Now let me tell you something about Helen the Cat. Sometimes it doesn't matter if I have been gone for 10 minutes or 10 hours .... she acts like I have been gone for ten days. When I came back in from the grocery store, she threw herself at me like a crazy cat and managed to work herself under my foot (which was wearing a rather solid doc marten boot.) Of course I stepped on her, of course she yowled, and of course I cursed. I went on in to the bathroom to pour the liquid snake stuff into the toliet, but heard her still complaining in the other room. When I came out of the bathroom, my little furry pride and joy actually hissed at me and then ran off to hide in the closet.
So let's review: I am relatively unwashed, there is broccoli in my bathtub, and my cat is hiding in my closet. Oh, and while I was gone, my then unpissed-off cat took an large-smelling crap in her litterbox, so the whole place smelled bad.
Good Morning!!!
Before I left again for work I did lure Helen out of the closet and she seemed to have forgiven me. Oh, and the standing water in the tub had drained while I was out buying the clog stuff, so hopefully by the time I get home the drain will be cleared. I don't think I have a sewer pipe problem or anything, since the broccoli bits were the only thing that backed up, so I'm hoping the problem is that I just ran too much down the garbage disposal. I'm just glad it didn't happen the other night, when it was raw chicken that I was disposing of. GROSSITY. Not to mention a health hazard.
And how was your morning?
P.S. Bonus points to whomever gets the reference in this entry's title. KeeperSister, you are exempt.
